chrislyntay's Xanga

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 14:02:34 GMT

fufilled weak oli two b distroied by opuning of sch.

hi hello hi hi.

its sad to know how the influence of the media has seeped into the society.

there is no privacy in people's lives anymore. how truths can be so easily twisted. its better to zip our lips on lil things because you never know when you may become a victim.

ah, therefore, im officially announcing that this blog will be dead

but im leaving it open cos i can;t bear to del all those stupid pics ive uploaded

i think a private blog or a written diary may be better for me plus i too lazy to online as often anymore :)

cheers.

p.s ENJOY THE 3RD TERM OF SCH. GOD BLESS EVERYONE TAKING THEIR Os THIS YR!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 04:29:32 GMT

dear xanga,

last week was an eventful week for me.

when i got home the night when i had cell group, my brother came back from brunei for a surprise visit.

well, it wasn't so much of a surprise cos we knew that he would be back for the hols but just didn't know exactly when. and the best thing was, my elder bro came with his long term girlfriend from msia the next day. And i finally got to see my cousins after a "half-life". they are the children of my uncle whom my brother is working for. all msia people finding subsistence in brunei.

i didnt know how.. i ended up becoming like a tourist cum tour guide and followed them to chinatown, zoo and the following day - science centre. it isnt as cheesy as it sounds. i had a great time, seriously. after all, it had been donkey years since i last step into those places. i'll get some pics uploaded another time.

then the next thing was, i decided to return to msia with them. luckily, they stayed in jb, kind of near singapore. stayed at my uncle's "palace" which looked more like a hotel. their bedcovers/sheets are sent to the laundry every day. air conditioners switched on like almost 24/7. mom thought of staying for only a night, just to catch up and all, but the next day, my uncle suggested going on a day's cruise. mom had to leave for work, so i went with them.

so yeah, buffet and all those games.. while the adults went into casino. haha, i managed to sneak in for peek.. but it wasn't really a place for me. then we spent another night at my uncle's place and left the next morning. supper and breakfast and all were really good (:

then i couldn't make it for planet shakers, too tired and you know, you get those yucky feeling when you get back from another place so you just want to stay at home.

wanted to spend my saturday at home again but i promised cow and chicken bout the sleepover-but-turn-out-not movie mania. so, in the afternoon, i worked for my mom's friend at somerset then went home to shower and pack FOR THAT SLEEPOVER- turn out, it wasn't that day. then went to meet them and chicken's church friends. watched cars. got to see the environment of a family-family church. it's so warm and cosy. then negative thoughts bout large churches came again.. ugh. it was really great. chicken's friends were so simple and sweet. so transparent and non-discriminating.

next day went to church with charis, and we forgot hall 9 won't be opened. we wanted to do our hols hwk thr. so in the end, the best possible way was sitting at the back of the hall where it was the brightest and yeah, i did like a page of math. only.

when chinese svc congre was dismissed, charis and i went in front to like "chop" seats then in the end we got chased out cos svc hasn't started. actually i see no point in moving out cos in the end, we only waited for bout 2min before we enter again. quite silly.

then happy father's day to all fathers...

then went to california fitness for the second time. i was kind of noob, i mean, it was my 2nd time thr. but thank God for making me such a thick-skinned person, i just noobly/bravely/coolly asked for assistance.

ohmg, i had a great trainer and of course a great workout. i shan't elaborate on the contents of it all but i have to say, it made me very happy. like i no longer desire skinny-bambootic bods. i want to be healthy, and i damn am.

he told me specifically where to train up and told me a lot of my good points and yeah, he really made sense. then he told me that its good i had developed muscles like even in my tri/biceps [i think swimming helped], just need to get my fats percentage lower than 12% or sth and you can see pecs. not the guys pecs but you know girl's tone abs. then he said i had nice butt and taught me how to get curves for shoulders to butt. but he said i had to stop running like how im running during my trg if i wanted my calves and thighs to reduce in sizes. because of the stress/impact bla. anyw, trg will end in july...

then the funny thing was we commented on other girl's in the gym and i was like cycling. then most of them has butterfly arms when we really look at them. nice only at first look - wings so visible. and there were this 2 girls who are his staff who are like underweight.

me: nice what, skinny, no fats.

him: its not nice. it's not healthy. they're underweight. would you rather be fit and healthy or like a nice car but a lousy engine. you don't know what's underneath their clothes, all the fats accumulated in between the hamstrings and butt [cellulite?] you'll look hot if you wear a tight-fit dress or something else.. you're in workout clothes now, you can't see. [he just meant good shape.]

[then he jokingly said he'll have the best body in CF if he's a girl cos he knows exactly how to train up]

me: is it? like thin thin looks nicer than muscular.

him: noo, when you really train up..you see those caucasians. they look good and are healthy. you see those girls. they've no muscles and no butt. no shape.

then he pointed out another girl and said she used to be v skinny but she now puts on more weight and trains up and now looks better. and she really look fit and nice.. then he revealed what guys look for in girls and normally hot bods guys like those kind of girls. and its quite true. those lanky skinny guys out thr likes skinny frail looking girls too. haha.

then he said like i must have been a fit person and i train a lot, so i used to be in good shape but then my diet went haywired so fats accumulated over the muscles. ohmg, did i just say that out ? ugh. hahaha. then i said, but i love food, how?? then he said he love food too. then he said i should just enjoy life AND FOCUS ON MY STUDIES FIRST.

then mentioned, getting good bod is easy but maintaining is hard. just don't smoke and drink.

SO ALL GIRLS OUT THR. train up. don't get anorexic! hahaha. we'll do it tgt. burn fats, gain shapely muscles. ahahaha. get hot. lol.

then i tried their sauna and steam bar for the first time. and i was alone in there, so i got to like pray and speak to God in my solitude but got kind of distracted cos of the temperature and the steam which smelt like those where dim sums are kept.

then i bathed and was one of those last people out of the locker. i think the janitor there rmbs me la. ohmg.

im so glad i got him as my trainer, he didnt try to sell me things or say redundant things and i could ask him even those questions like how to lose fats but maintain full breasts. lol.

and i feel v refreshed. i feel good. i feel sexy. okay, that's all i want. and that's usually how you feel after a good time, aint ?

Friday, June 01, 2007

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 16:14:40 GMT

I CANT WAIT FOR THAT SLEEPOVER THING !

AND THE STELLA AND ME ONLY THING !

AFTER EVERYughTHING---------------YYYYYYYYAY !

AHA, privileged to be on the animal farm, but I am a [smelly] pig ?

ahaha. nvm, pork is nice.

ah, its nice to know who really cares but some are really downright disappointing. so irritating. ah, lest i become testy, i shall turn in now so i can appear fresh and pretty for tmr's DAY. 2wedding parties to attend in a row.

HAVE TO APPEAR PRETTY. AHAHAHA. not funny.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 15:34:35 GMT

What's better than staying out late at night, drinking and talking, and retail therapies ?

AH, CHALETS !

or to an island getaway.

AND that was what i did on wed to, SADLY, just thurs.

WENT with a heavy heart, with mind full of questions, with frustrations, WITH NO NETWORK COVERAGE AT TAMPINES INTERCHANGE and all the way until i was in changi village ! [which was crazy cos when i reach netheravon, there was line and everything] shouldnt it be another way round, what the hell. Thinking back, i guess it was because God wanted me to travel alone myself so i can collect myself and my thoughts and really think bout Him. But caused a bit of a trouble for rach and sammi.

And i really had a lot of fun. I WAS REALLY MYSELF ALL THE TIME.

WHAT I COULD DO and i hadn't done for a while:

LAUGH AS MUCH AND AS CRAZILY AS I WANTED [but my old laughter was gone]

TALK AS MUCH AS I WANTED

EAT ROTI PRATA

CYCLE AND MAKE UP FOR THE TRGS I MISSED

WENT BACK TO PLACES IVE BEEN BEFORE DURING OBS [ nostalgic man]

GET TO KNOW MORE PEOPLE

SPENT MORE TIME WITH RACH SINCE I HADNT DONE SO FOR SO DAMMIT LONG.

GOT TO KNOW SAMMI MORE.

AND MORE......

AND JER BOUGHT GODIVA CHOCS FOR ME. GOSH, A WHOOPING 95$.

digress a bit,

AND ONE OF THOSE SIMPLE PLEASURES IN LIFE IS GETTING BACK HOME WITH A BOX OF DARK CHOCS AND SEEING ANOTHER BOX OF DARK CHOCS IN THE FRIDGE. YEAH MAN, DARK CHOCS !!!!!!! and knowing that this sunday im getting another. HEE.

the whole chalet thing was simply great. probably the bad thing bout it was IT WAS TOO SHORT !! lol.

great food, great interactive games, great fun under the sun, great company, great leaders.

THANKS MOM :

for spending those lil time with me [so i won't feel awkward being the only girl at that time] when i reach and being so caring.

THANKS AHPA ELKAN :

for the food stuff, for the planning, overseeing and everything.

THANKS UNCLE JUN HAO:

for being so funny ALL the time. esp during taboo and the polar bear game. and for the planning too.

THANKS UNCLE/GORGOR CHARLES:

for being friendly. haha.

AND THOSE others i didn't catch their names.

and rly love the camp for the fact that everything was free and easy and i get to play the xbox360 and realise how lousy my fingers skills are. LOL.

cos.. kind of tired of those camps with a rigid plan and we have to participate in some of the activitiues though we don't rly want to.

and i love pulau ubin.

I SAW THE NEW BATCH OF SUISEN PPL LA.

hahaha i was suisen12 !!! I MISS MY OBS MATES MAN. BUT WE';RE MEETING UP SOON. thats so great :D

love the rides, the delicious coconut drink, the quarry [OBSSSSS ~!], and everything else.

it was a simple chalet but it was rly relaxing and all.

i love changi la. youth camp'05 was held thr too, and it was so fun as well. and worship encounter with the celebration ppl. AH, CAN ALL CAMPS be held at changiiiii.

funny, im not looking forward to the youth camp coming up next week.

pics up another time.

lord, do not ignore my cries and pleas.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Mon, 28 May 2007 10:42:13 GMT

I FRIGGIN' HATE LIZARDS !

SAI LA. I HATE LIZARDS.

some light hearted post here.

Had breakie with mom and dad today.

It was great. On the article on "eat with your family day", they said that most children who have meals with their family often are usually successful in schools. I guess, they meant spending more time help in their emotional and social aspects of life and in turn, help in their sch work etc.

I WENT FOR THE FOOD FEST THANG BEFORE GDOP.

2 PICS FOR YA. we enjoyed the food la. lol. freeloaders -.

i was in a mess, couldnt post it here. so lasso-ed my face away.

the smiling faces after a good meal ?

Monday, May 28, 2007

Mon, 28 May 2007 09:58:24 GMT

I don't have an affinity with blogthings. Many times i attempt their quizes and post them here, something will happen and then I won't be able to get my results here. LOL, i give up for now.

Again, i said i am not a perspicuous writer, but hopefully in the future i am able to express what i'm thinking inside. What meant to be a piece of advice may come out as a scorn. Yet hopefully, again, this won't stop me from posting entries on what i've to say. I'm not a self-righteous person, i know exactly that im a wretched sinner. I am disgusted by some of my thoughts and actions. So i know it myself that i shouldn't judge. And if you check my entries again, read between the lines, i wasn't judging nor did i bear any grudge on anyone [seriously, i don't think less of anyone] and viciously condemn anyone here on my blog. What i merely did was stating facts, facts everyone knows and i was just reiterating them. I reckon, every now and then, ppl are guilty of judging ppl. Hey, calling ppl ahlians is judging too. "ahlians" carries a bad connotation. Even, when you see a man in the mrt wearing some table cloth shorts, you cringe. That's judging too. Until, we achieve the stage of perfection, can we judge other ppl for the same standard of judgement will be used for judging you. Yes, everyone knows that. And even so, we shouldn't judge. Yes yes, everyone knows that as well. So when you accuse ppl of judging, ask yrself if yr opinion helps to edify or bring someone down. If yes, i commit a mistake, rather i wish you come to me and tell me what's wrong than trying to point out my mistakes and criticise me for being a bad christian i am. I can take bluntness and will appreciate if you really do. What bothers me is someone misunderstanding my point and twist the whole matter ard. If my post bothers you, let me know where im wrong straight in the face, it doesn't help me or you when you hide all those bad feelings youve for me when a) you got a whole distorted pic of what im trying to say b)you have sth against me and not voiced out. We can have a win-win situation aye ?

PLus, its not like because after i discover yr unhappiness i would punch you in the face and i can't, through a monitor/other media.

How should i say? We have different viewpoints. If it pleases you, then, stick to yr gut feelings bout me until you know me better. Will you be happier if im an unfeeling person?

Why, i do think some ppl are odd, but i trust my judgements to be wrong until i get to know them better so i won't feel disturbed. What is it that people think im such a hypocrite ? Now, that's a serious word. Let's get this right.

"I don't like you but i am nice to you."

FACT: I'm trying to love you. Kelly teaches me that everyone has a lovable side and perhaps we haven't discover them. What we should do instead of what's popular - avoid and continue yr hatred, show it in the face etc - is to try to bear with that person with love and humility.

You may not agree with me, but that's what i do. Or show me biblically, whether what im doing is wrong and teach me what's right. Don't just chew me out by spreading flagrant rumours [note: rumors]. And the fact that you may/not have spend half of your entire lifetime with me doesn't equate to how much you know me inside. Why, im getting cliche. But stuff like these have to be made clear aye ?

The odds are, not everyone will get my points right again.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Thu, 24 May 2007 13:24:22 GMT

I AM A RUNNER.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Wed, 23 May 2007 16:05:59 GMT

check this out.

mine [id] : 466530

and yours : http://www.ldrc.ca/projects/projects.php?id=42

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Wed, 23 May 2007 15:30:14 GMT

HAHA

DAY, i have durian at home nowwwwwww.

OHMG, its so sad.

i wanted to show you guys what ive been eating.

JACOB'S CRAKS - CREAM ONION

and DURIAN.

but i couldnt get the craks picture.

Hee, today's eat with class day was so fun. And partly, it was because i got a slightly bigger share of pizza than the rest :x And i love cherry tomatoes and cherries and grapes and wantian's kickapooooooo.

HAHA, where there's food, there should be CHRISLYN.

okay, anyw, HAHAHA, i enjoyed the NE quiz. KINDA FUN. hahaha.

DADDY, I PRAY FOR OPEN HEARTS OPEN MINDS.

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SING PRAISES TO YOU OPENLY IN CLASS ONE DAY.

but actually it was quite open alr. No one cared. AND SO WE ALL JUST KEPT SINGING AND SINGING.

and WE could feel I.T IT.

DAY, WE CAN RIGHTTTTT ?

I LOVE JESUS LA.

and i don't care if people make comments. I mean, let's just rmb Jesus on the cross. The things we do to glorify the Lord is really nth. aha, be strong and courageous !

-edited p/s : if you have time for this...-

Aha, some thoughts were running through my head just now.

People say this, people say that.

Back in sec 2, when you hang out often with THIS guy, people say you are a flirt. When you laughed damn loud, people say you are attention seeking.

IN sec 3, you didn't want to conform to school rules, so you conform to what PEOPLE SAY. And that's even worse, cos it shows how you let yourself be determined by WHAT PEOPLE SAY. A year ago, i'd have called this cat of people losers [why let what people say dictate you? ] But now, i empathise with them, these people are "lost".

Well, i used the word empathise cos i know exactly how they felt. Being someone who wants to feel special by nature, i am inclined to do things that deviates from the norm. AND I hated trends like shits. And i used to think many people out there follow them and a lil too much. The thing is, if you don't think over what you're doing, the more you try not to conform, the more you're conforming. Just like our lit poem : in the perspective of our parents and teachers, we are to carry out our duty as children and students. So teenagers rebel and think they're uh, cool, like that. BUt the sad truth is, you become the teenager stereotype. The difference is that, there is rebellion in different levels, so teenagers try to do the "coolest" thing they can do to show how cool they are. But those in retrospect, most would shake their heads and feel how stupid they had been.

Haha, aiya, i succumbbed to such peer pressure before and wanted to try out the NEW thing. PEOPLE said it's fun what. cool what. TRY LOR. but i knew the limits la, everything is so plain stupid. I was glad i pulled out of it pretty quickly.

Then i became critical, i despised their actions. But God, WHO LOVES ME SO MUCH, hee, talked a whole lot bout compassion and to cut it short, i hadnt rcv total compassion until this year.

It was a rough process. Im not like proud or arrogant or sth but i was just... idk. you get the drift.

And soon, it realise it was some immature phase and it peels off like a layer when i enter 2007 [AH MAYBE VICTORIOUS YR WHAT. lol. ]. ZENG WROTE IN MY REPORT BOOK AND SAID I AM MATURE AND HAVE A MIND OF MY OWN AND DARES TO SPEAK OFF MY MIND OKAY. hahah, didnt know how they figure out these out.

then God did a lot of things, taught me a lot lessons and all just like a daddddddddyy.

It used to be an issue for me on how people looked at me. I am not good with impressions. condescending... anti social... and bla. last time la. that was then la. im so nice now right.

people still dwell on my past. They still looked on my past frivolous attitude in disdain. its uncanny how those people dont see that ive changed. but if its not going to happen, its not going to happen. I had always invited controversies, not like im happily boasting about it. but being ugh with someone takes a lot of energy you know.

and just a while back when i curled my hair. i rcved a comment: why chrislyn always want to be so special. and the incredulous thing is that, that person is one who TTH to do things to stand out as well. aiya, im a victim of such circumstances, i also want to be different, flamboyant, whatever you call it [but with good connotation, ha] but I nv intend to hide this fact what. AND ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME, KNOWS IM LIKE THAT. so if you unhappy, deal with it.

and i know im different. everyone is different. wanting to be even more different is not heinous as long as you don't belong to any stigma. And not everyone can be different when they want to. So i guess i rly have to thank God, at least people do notice i am special. feeling bitter, they just have to say it in a different sense. [yeah what. just like when people say you act cute, means you're cute just that its acted out. but still cute right. so the right word to use next time is STILL act cute buay cute. ha.]

And maybe most have never known, i love dressing up and trying out new and unusual stuff BECAUSE I DERIVE THRILL FROM IT. its like a hobby. fun what. A HOBBY, get it ? yes, you guys get it. :)

Haha, i didn't expect to write so much. And i probably sound so outlandish. BUt these are just my thoughts and im just being transparent. I may sound like a cuckoo teenager, i have no life from all those teenage's relish. but im happy. so that is it.

and im really encouraged by day. while others are still falling into this same teenager trap or some are still halfhearted, still clinging on to the world, day wants to seeks and find her security in the Lord. ah, jia you okay !!

Ah &please, some of you, don't give me the i-believe-there-is-God-and-i'll-come-to-him-in-the-future-but-not-now crap. its delusional. wake up !

to err is human, but it shou;d leave you with an excuse to not work at it. boast bout yr weaknesses like Paul. God loves each and everyone of you. ha.

ah, sometimes i wish thr are more of my kind of people. like charis said, i can mix ard but to be able to really connect with someone, i only have uh, stella la. hahaha. then, like generally you may know my thoughts, but you may/not at all know what i am inside. but the other part of me also wants to remain like that HAHA so its kinds of mystifies. and again people say all sorts of things la, they say like they really know me, which is really hilar. and its really no, they dont. cos again, i know i may not be totally cool but im not yr average teenager. but hee. only God knows me inside out. outside in. like really and totally. period.

lol

and that person out thr if you are still a visitor,

you were wrong when you thought two christians were fighting. Im sorry you were happy at it for nth. cos obvy,

i did not participate in that picayune conflict that uprose from only a one sided party. wake up. thanks.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Tue, 22 May 2007 10:40:58 GMT

"graphologists think you may have the tendency to assert yourself too strongly to overcompensate for inner feelings of inadequacy"

LOL.

2 things keep running inside my head for the past week :

PUPPIES AND DURIAN !

UGH, any yorkies for adoption ? :D